


i yearn for your smiles

by peachesfordinner (themwhostrays), themwhostrays



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Crying, Cuddles, Gen, Hugging, Intrusive Thoughts, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Plotless, This is the author projecting their feelings and thoughts, canonical, doubts, hurt-and-comfort, i wish jype a very fuck you, petnames, platonic, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:21:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themwhostrays/pseuds/peachesfordinner, https://archiveofourown.org/users/themwhostrays/pseuds/themwhostrays
Summary: He leaned in and let it hurt, allowing his body to seep in both pain and comfort. The heaviness that he holds in his heart's been crushing him. It's time to let it go, set it free, make it go away.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Everyone
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	i yearn for your smiles

**Author's Note:**

> lmao idk why i wrote this,, last night i was just praising and cuddling hyunjin inside my head and boom! i mindlessly created this. as written on the tags, this is just the author projecting their thoughts about the issue. i might or might not delete this, we'll see. but as of now, i hope u enjoyed this thing i made?
> 
> also… out of my 6 years of writing, this is the first time i made a full hurt-and-comfort fic. i always tend to create angsty stories, u get it. hyunjin made me do this.
> 
> feedbacks are highly appreciated.

"Hyunjin? Why are you still awake?" Chan greeted, his soft grin turning into a frown, worried lines showing up on his delicate face when he saw how tired Hyunjin's face was.

Hyunjin faced them fully now, rubbing his face to try and get the sleep out of his system. He tried to smile, but it did not reach his eyes. His eyes, his precious eyes which always encased bright, comforting warmth inside it, his eyes did not smile, not this time. It was too exhausting to do so. 

"Guys! I watched your performance! You did so great!" He cheered, scrambling to stand up from the sofa, his legs wobbling weakly, almost falling if not for Seungmin catching him.

The taller looked up, thanking him silently. "I'm so proud of all of you." He said, meaning it. His voice was soft, soothing, careful in the middle of the night, in the fragile moment they're sharing. It was soft and careful, like it was going to fade any time soon. They didn't want it to fade. They wanted to grasp on it.

"And we're so proud of you, so _so_ proud of you." Someone spoke, all of them turning to see that it was Jeongin. The youngest was fidgeting behind them, he gave them a small smile, hesitant. The others smiled back, and it was all it took for him to come forward and hug Hyunjin.

The older fell into his arms, hiding his face on Jeongin's shoulder, hugging him back. They didn't know if he was smiling, blushing, crying, or maybe all of the above. 

They heard a sob, a sob that confirmed their suspicions. Hyunjin was, in fact, letting go of his facade. He might have gotten tired pretending that he can take it, that he was strong enough to not mind it, that it didn't take a toll on him. 

It wasn't a bad thing, if ever, they were beyond proud and glad of Hyunjin showing his everything to them. 

He rebuilds when he breaks down. They believe he does.

He trusted them enough for him to allow them to hear and witness his vulnerability under the moon, under the blanketed sky filled with a billion stars shining for them. 

While most are asleep, in peace, clueless as to what was happening inside a particular home, they were wide awake, watching one of their precious beloved crying their frustrations out.

Jeongin brought them to the couch, still embracing him as he did. The others followed suit, and the next thing they knew, they were all huddled together in a big cuddle pile.

Hyunjin was sitting on Jisung and Changbin's laps, Chan squeezing his hands every now and then, and Minho petting his hair, trying to soothe him. He can hear a faint sound of what he thinks are heartbeats, their heavy breaths, and Felix's low voice singing softly to them, letting them hear a song about yearning for a person's smiles and touches.

They pulled him so close till no space lies in between.

Hyunjin was still weeping, yet he was smiling. But it looked forced, and they didn't want him to force himself to smile for them.

He leaned in and let it hurt, allowing his body to seep in both pain and comfort. The heaviness that he holds in his heart's been crushing him. It's time to let it go, set it free, make it go away. 

"I hope you'll be alright soon." Felix whispered after the song, kissing the older's cheeks as a sign of comfort.

"I am." Hyunjin replied, savoring the touches he was receiving, so many touches, all at once, all for him.

Jisung frowned. "No, you're not." He said, continuing with a sentence in which he almost said all of the existing curse words there are directed to a certain company. "The shittiest company ever, don't even argue with me, I'm done with their bullshit." He spat, receiving a glare from their leader. It didn't scare him though, because he was just saying the truth, but he respected the eldest, and so he finally closed his mouth.

Hyunjin giggled, wiping his wet cheeks in an attempt of hiding his upcoming tears. "I will be. Felix hoped, so be it." And then he hiccuped again, louder this time, but not because of pain. Fondness.

"I'm tired."

"Hm?" Minho hummed, scratching his hair line, sending faint shivers down his spine and warmth in his heart, comfort in the pit of his stomach. "Then take a rest." He added.

Hyunjin shook his head, distracting Minho's petting when he did. "I don't want to." He murmured, silent, timid, almost scared.

"Why?" Changbin queried, his hold on Hyunjin tightening. Hyunjin didn't know who's who anymore, feeling so many hands touching him at the same time. He didn't mind though, physical affection and validation make him live and survive.

"I'm afraid." Hyunjin whispered, again, but much lower this time, they almost didn't hear him, almost, except for Jisung, who was nosing at Hyunjin's jaw as the other spoke.

"Of what?" The younger man asked, pecking him at the side of his mouth.

Hyunjin shifted, darting his eyes elsewhere, anywhere but to them, not wanting them to see the pain resurfacing.

"Of all of you leaving me."

Deafening silence came through, washing all over them.

"Oh Hyunie…" Felix gasped softly.

Seungmin grumbled, slightly hurt. "Where did that come from?" Hyunjin looked at him, and the feeling faded into dust. He understands.

Chan frowned once more. "What do you mean by that, love?" 

"What if, what if I wake up to a bigger commotion? What if that'll stain me, our group? What if that'll make me leave, that'll make all of you leave me? What if?" Hyunjin spoke, his voice trailing off into nothingness, his trembling lips closing, his eyes watering.

"It won't happen." Minho said bravely, amidst the sadness, his voice firm yet gentle.

Hyunjin bit his lip, trying to prevent it from wobbling. "You're not sure."

"I'll make sure of it. we'll do everything for that to not happen." Minho said, finality in his tone of voice.

"I'm still scared, i'm sorry." Hyunjin hiccuped, gazing longingly at his members. 

He was just trying to survive through a world of built up anger and pent up hatred. He doesn't deserve this, no, not even one bit.

He snuggled into the warmth of the people around him, basking in their comfort, putting the worry far away, far far away, in the pit of his mind, almost forgotten.

His members helped him believe, he is believing, that somehow, all of this mess, is just an attempt of the universe for him to know the worth of his life.

"We're not going to leave you. You're not going to lose us. We'll stay." 


End file.
